2010: A New Start ... Again (Part I)

New year, new decade, new slate! Time to reflect on the past and sort out the future, re-evaluate priorities and figure out where I’m headed. Exciting, scary -- either way, it’s a new adventure.

So, first, the reflecting! It’s been quite a decade, from getting my driver’s license and rocking my big red Camaro convertible to moving out on my own and pulling in a paycheck that doesn’t involve the question “white or wheat?” (although I do miss Subway!). I got a diploma and a degree. The trip to the mailbox has changed from anticipation and excitement of cards and penpal notes to dread for the latest bills. NSYNC is out, New Kids on the Block came back, and Michael Jackson died. So many changes! I’ve studied faith and questioned it, gone from jock to sorority girl to working girl, made people laugh with stand-up comedy and let down my guard enough to cry in front of a couple people. And through it all, one thing remains the same -- my love of Chipotle chicken fajita burritos!

This year has been a learning year. I’ve settled into my job, but questioned whether my career path may be taking a detour. I found out sometimes, the people you’re counting on will disappoint you, and the people you count out will surprise you. After 16 years of school, and some big tuition payments courtesy of mom and dad, it turns out *life’s the biggest teacher. Who knew?

The biggest lessons of 2009 came in the form of relationships - some coming, some going, and some going through big changes. The year started with a crush, which progressed to a date shortly after the Super Bowl, and snowballed into love sometime after Valentine’s Day. The connection was crazy, the chemistry was like you hear about in the movies, and the happiness was infectious. I learned to let someone else take care of me every once in a while, to share my feelings and unbrick my wall a little bit, and let myself experience all that mushiness you normally see on the big screen. But, all good things come to an end, and I was blind-sided with a phone call after St. Patrick’s Day. Turns out, break ups suck -- especially when you didn’t think anything was wrong. Don’t get me wrong, it’s happened before, and it probably will again -- but this time, I *actually felt heartbreak. Needless to say, it was a rough few months ... for me *and the people around me. Lots of reflecting, lots of eating, and *lots of drinking. And, through quite a bit of screwing up, I learned some important lessons along the way. Like, alcohol may drown problems, but it doesn’t wash away the taste of foot in your mouth the next morning. And, getting under one person doesn’t mean you’ll get over someone else -- in fact, it just complicates things more. Sometimes, you just have to be thankful for what you had, enjoy what you have, and look forward to what’s ahead. There are a lot of things to say, but unfortunately I don’t think I’ll get the chance. I’m thankful I did get the chance to experience love, though, even for a short time, and I have some great memories I can keep with me. After drunken phone calls and crossing a couple lines, the one thing I can’t get over is losing a great friend. And I hope in *this decade I can get that back, at least.

Plenty more to talk about ... later. I think a page about my life is more than enough to swallow in one sitting! Now, go get a beer. I’ll pop the top off another chapter later.