Erinny Flynnckit's Series of Random Events: Part One

I do not have a job. I believe we have established this fact before, but it is something my parents delight in reminding me every hour on the hour; I don't even have a clock in my room because I know that I will be getting the call promptly at 7am, "What are you doing still sleeping...stop being so lazy and get a job!" Anyway, to help with the job search I decided to make a road trip down to good old Elon University to get some help finishing up my resume reel. And, as a bonus, it gets me out of the house...ding ding ding!

First stop: Ohio University First random event: Anthropology Exam

Myself having been graduated for nearly two weeks, I found it very hard to believe that there were other people still in school. However, the Bobcats down at Ohio University were just approaching exam weekend, which meant studying was in order for the friends that I was visiting. That, however, would get in the way of the uptown bar crawl we had planned for the evening, so I made a little deal with Sally.

Fact 1: She had not attended an anthropology class in over a month.

Fact 2: Her exam was scheduled for 8am the following day.

Fact 3: Uptown bar hops = a late night.

Solution: I will attend the exam with Sally for moral support...and take it for fun just so I have an interesting story.

When the alarm went off at 7:20 a.m., I was rethinking my negotiations. But, I made a promise to Sally and doggonit I was going to stick with it. So, I rolled out of bed and pulled on my best gym shorts and t-shirt and Sally packed up some of the notes she stayed up studying in the living room. Then we headed to campus.

We tramped groggily up the bustling stairs of the Sociology building, rounding the corner and heading into the classroom...all unfamiliar territory for me. Although, since Sally hadn't been to a class since April the situation was pretty much the same for her. We picked some nice comfortable seats in the second row of the auditorium and waited for our professor to arrive.

Oh, wait! I don't have a pencil! How am I supposed to take my exam without a writing utensil? Ah, I will ask one of my classmates. First try: no luck with the curly haired Slipknot fan behind me. Thank goodness for the shaggy guy in the baseball hat...and a really high quality mechanical pencil at that!

Then the professor walks into the classroom, stacks of exams in hand. He is 170 pounds of pure Asian pleasure with an accent to match. His self-proclaimed Changlish was surprisingly discernable...

"Prease to take one test and pass down row. Pink is version A, Brue is version B. Just fiwl in name, rast fo digits of sociar security, and which version. You have question, you ask me. First one done gets comprimentary Miso soup."

Ok...I'm exaggerating. But he was Asian. I swear.

Now, as much as I feel like a rebble taking this exam as an illegal anthropology alien, my conservative voice kicks in and I realize I should not put my real name on the exam. But what name to make up? It can't be a common one; what if I somehow pick the exact same name as someone in the class and my grade goes in their slot? But what if it is too unbelieveable and he stops me before I leave the room after reading it? And, of course, the most important consideration, what if it's not an entertaining enough name to keep you, my blog reader's, attention? So I settle on what I feel is a very appropriate, believeable, respectable name: Dawn Keeballs. Say it quickly and you're understand it ;-)

So, after flying through the anthropology exam (the pink version), I...er, Dawn...make my way to the front of the room and slyly drop it on the top of the pile, avoiding eye contact with Mr. Miagi at all costs.

Keeballs out!

Wait a minute...you forgot to give me my soup!!!